Posts Tagged ‘sex before marriage’

Why the Pastor who says married people should have sex seven days a week may be right

Monday, April 2nd, 2012

I just read an article about a pastor, Pastor Mike Scruggs who has brought a stripper pole, along with a bed, into his church, the Light of Word Ministries in White Oak, Ohio, as part of his new sermon series all about sex. Under normal circumstances, I would find this type of preaching over the top but in this particular instance, I find it quite appropriate.

The Pastor is suggesting that more married couples indulge in one of marriage’s most basic and traditional “rights” and I do not see anything wrong with that. A lot of the issues that we face in Black communities around the country stem from the results of extra-marital sex. Teenage pregnancy, unplanned single parent homes, higher rates of HIV infection and higher rates of other sexually transmitted diseases are among the many issues that ail Black communities.

The Pastor has taken it upon himself to address an issue that many other pastors shy away from. I can remember about seven years ago, shortly after I got married a wise woman sat me down and shared with me, what she thought were the three most critical areas of marriage to pay attention to. The first two were taking care of your finances and communicating well and the third was “intimacy”. The reason why I’m sharing this quick story is of course to highlight the third area that she felt was important. It also happens to be the area that she spent the most amount of time discussing. I remember her suggesting that at times, it is hard for women to keep up with their husbands’ “demands” but she insisted that it was necessary at times to just “take one for the team”. Although the conversation was light and full of humor, I have never forgotten what she said and have gone on to have many discussions with married women who also place a high level of importance on “intimacy”, among other things, as a way of keeping their marriages happy and healthy.

So, here is the bottom line; if you’re married, have lots and lots of sex! Pastor Mike Scruggs thinks it’s a great idea and I’m willing to bet that if you’re a married woman, your husband will agree with the pastor! If you’re not married, refrain from having lots and lots of sex! You may just be protecting yourself from many diseases and if you’re a man, you decrease the chances of sharing your paycheck (read: pay child support) with a woman you didn’t marry for 18 to 25 years!

Sex before Marriage

Wednesday, January 11th, 2012

I just read a post that really got me thinking…

“You appealed to his lower nature. You had sex with him and didn’t make marriage a requirement. You continue to have sex with him and still don’t make marriage a requirement. You decide that you’re going to have his baby, and again you still aren’t married because, again, you didn’t make it a requirement, he leaves you. But everything is “ALL HIS FAULT!”

The words above are a simple question that a lot of black woman who call themselves “baby mama” need to ask themselves. I completely understand and sympathize with the fact that “it takes two to tango” and that some men need a little nudge (like a court order) to take responsibility and contribute financially for their children’s needs. Anyone who pays attention to most of the things that I say/write, knows that I believe in personal responsibility. Before you ask or require other people to take responsibility for anything, you first have to ask yourself if you are taking responsibility

Read the post here and let me know what you think. [email protected]

Again, my friends, can I please not get an influx of angry e-mails about how judgmental I’m being! 🙂 Some truths need to be faced and we need to have dialogue so that we can begin to move into a better way of thinking and behaving. We can’t change what we don’t acknowledge-right?