Posts Tagged ‘responsible television’

Nene Leakes is smarter than we give her credit for

Friday, June 8th, 2012

Nene Leakes has reportedly been speaking out about the bullying and fighting that goes on in the reality show, “Basketball Wives”. Leakes, a “wife”, herself in “the Real Housewives of Atlanta” has also been criticized about being too loud and opinionated. It seems that she knows the limit though, because her star seems to be shining very bright. In addition to her role as a “wife”, Leakes also has roles in ‘Glee’ and ‘The New Normal’.

What I noticed about Nene’s comments about “Basketball wives is that she talks about how the women’s behavior can affect the future of their careers. Considering how well Nene’s career is going, I think she has earned some creditability to talk about what it takes to succeed in show business. I’m not saying I agree entirely with Nene’s conduct but I also believe she is much smarter than we give her credit for.

Think about it; one of the challenges that I believe Oprah Winfrey is faced with with her struggling OWN Network is that although she strives to put on only “quality” programming, many say most of it is “boring”. There is a delicate balance between having enough action and drama to keep people interested and engaged and going too far, like Jerry Springer or even ‘Basketball Wives’. On one hand, Oprah keeps her programs decent and dignified but no one is watching and then on the other hand, people are watching shows like ‘Basketball Wives’ but they are disgusted by what they see.

What I’m suggesting is that Nene has struck this balance and I believe she is well aware of it. She doesn’t try to act “nice” in front of the camera and come off as inauthentic and possibly boring but she also doesn’t get into fist fights when she has conflict with someone.

So far, Nene is the only “wife” that Donald Trump has tapped to be on is reality show, ‘The Apprentice’. She is the highest paid “wife” on ‘The Real Housewives of Atlanta’ and she also has roles on two other major shows. I don’t believe that all this success has come Nene’s way by some stroke of luck. I think that Nene is a smart black woman who understands how show business works and while people are sitting around talking about her, she is working on ways to get paid!

Originally Posted at Your Black Bloggers

Why you should love a “hoe”, b*tch or “chicken head”

Monday, February 6th, 2012

When a woman has been raised in a home and, maybe, also a society that has minimized her, marginalized her and also disrespected and disregarded her, she may not realize that it has been repeatedly suggested to her that she is somehow inferior and the expectations that have been set for her life fall far below the potential that exists in her. She may not realize that she has bought into a lie.

You may know these women. They buy into the lie for different reasons. Among those reasons are religious beliefs that have been taken out of context or completely distorted. Some buy into the lie because their limited environment has only shown them one “reality” and in that reality all they see is evidence of their lack of power and their lack of significance. Some others have been brutally beaten (verbally, mentally and/or physically) and they have endured that treatment for so long that it is next to impossible to imagine that they could be valued, loved and respected. For some, what they have endured is more subtle and less recognizable; they are just overlooked or talked over, talked down to or ignored.

What these women do not see is the truth of WHO they are and who they were Created to be. You might ask: Who are they?

They are children of GOD.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” Marianne Williamson

The next time you see one of these women, don’t laugh at her ignorance or “backward thinking” or call her a “hoe”, b*tch or chicken-head. Instead, look beyond WHAT she has become and instead see her for WHO she is. If you see her for WHO she is, how can you not love her?

Beyonce announces she is pregnant at MTV VMAs!

Monday, August 29th, 2011

Last night at the MTV Video Music awards Beyonce, aka Mrs. Carter, announced she was pregnant by opening her jacket to reveal a baby bump. As she rubbed her “bump”, the crowd went wild while her Husband Jay-Z danced and celebrated in the audience.

I must say, it is beautiful to see that, even in Hollywood, there is still an upholding and celebrating of so called old fashioned values.

I genuinely wish Mr. and Mrs. Carter a long and joyful marriage along with the new addition to their small family.

CNN anchor Don Lemon on The Gayle King Show

Wednesday, June 15th, 2011

CNN anchor Don Lemon, who recently publicly announced he is gay was on the Gayle King Show today to chat about his new book, “Transparent” and why he decided to go public about being gay. Lemon told Gayle that his intention was not necessarily to “come out”, but just to be honest about who he was and that involved talking about being gay. Lemon also mentioned that he had not actually been “in the closet” because his close friends, family and co-workers knew he was gay.

My intention is not to get into a debate about what it means to be gay; whether it means he is going to burn in hell for his “sinful ways” (being gay) or whether people should understand that being gay is not a choice and gay people deserve the same love and respect as their heterosexual counterparts. What stood out to me was how open Don Lemon was about being homosexual and how he even mentioned that he had dated women and still found some women attractive.

What I find commendable is that Don Lemon is being open about his homosexuality instead of indulging in the common “down low” lifestyle where a man who is homosexual engages in a heterosexual relationship and then secretly has homosexual encounters. Being open about being homosexual takes a lot of courage especially for public figures such as Don Lemon, who himself said he was somewhat afraid of what “coming out” publicly would do to his career.

Regardless of what our religious convictions dictate we should feel about homosexuals, I still think that we can all appreciate that Mr. Lemon has displayed a level of integrity that even some religious leaders failed to attain. We may never know for sure what happened between Eddie Long and his accusers or why Creflo Dollar felt the need to come to his defense but what I know is Mr. Lemon was open, honest and forthright and that’s more than what can be said about “some religious leaders”.

Rihanna ‘s “Man down” video causes a stir

Tuesday, June 7th, 2011

Recently, the media has been buzzing about Rihanna’s video “Man down” in which she plays a character that is raped and then shoots her rapist in the head. In a telephone interview that I heard online, Rihanna defends her video by saying that she is using her music (and talents-my words) to bring attention to an issue that she feels needs more attention.

A lot of the uproar about the video is that many are saying it is too graphic for young children to watch and it is sending the wrong message to rape victims. My response to this argument is that Rihanna is not responsible for what small children are exposed to on television; parents are! If a parent feels that Rihanna’s video is too graphic for his or her children then the action to correct the problem needs to come from the parent, not Rihanna.

On the issue of what kind of message the video sends to rape victims, my thoughts are that a video is not going to make a woman who would otherwise not commit a murder go out and commit one. I do however think that watching that video may make a potential rapist think twice before he rapes a woman (or man). A lot of crimes are perpetrated by people who think they can get away with committing the crime and this video suggests that even if the law doesn’t get the rapist, the victim might!

Please note that I am not saying that it is justifiable for rape victims, or victims of any other crimes, to now take the law into their hands. What I’m saying is that I support what Rihanna is doing. She is shedding light on a very important issue, using the platform that she has and I think that that is commendable.

Racism within a race; dark vs. light skinned girls

Friday, May 27th, 2011

I just watched a sad but insightful video  about “dark skinned girls” and was amazed by how much the women who were part of the documentary were so negatively affected by their skin tone.

What stands out to me the most is that every single one of those women was in pain because she felt like her skin tone defined her as ugly. Their pain is a result of what society has collectively agreed defines beauty and that, in many black communities, means being light skinned which then as a default means that being dark skinned translates to being ugly.

I remember some years ago, one of my aunts jokingly remarked that I was not all that beautiful but appeared so because I was lighter skinned. I remember, in my childish ignorance, thinking how “lucky” I was that I was not as dark as she was. Years later, I find it almost laughable that we even had that conversation but the sad truth is that for a lot of people, in black communities, those kinds of conversation are not a thing of the past. How dark or light a black woman is is still a very relevant topic.

In recent years, I find that so much emphasis is being placed on recognizing “chocolate sisters” as beautiful which is great but it seems as though in an effort to appreciate the “chocolate” we are now suggesting that “caramel” is not as beautiful or “exotic”.

Here is the bottom line: How “chocolate” or “caramel” a woman is only as important as we collectively agree that it is. It is up to us to cultivate a  culture where we are able to look past surfaces  such as skin tone or color.

How long are we going to allow our minds to be raped by false beliefs? I say NO MORE!!!

Take a look at the video here: Dark Girls

Oprah packs a lunch to work every day, say Gayle King and Stedman Graham

Thursday, May 26th, 2011

I just watched a two hour Gayle King show special dedicated to a celebration of Oprah’s exit from the Oprah Winfrey Show. During the show, one of the guests interviewed was Oprah’s long time life partner, Stedman Graham. They reminisced about the Oprah Winfrey Show’s many highs and even higher highs over the past 25 years.

What stood out to me the most was when they laughed about how, right up until her last day of “work”, Oprah packed a lunch. Gayle joked that most people don’t know how frugal Oprah really is. Right there and there, I had an “Aha! Moment”. Wealthy people, like Oprah, don’t get wealthy by frivolously spending their money; they get wealthy by making good financial decisions even with such seemingly trivial things as spending money on lunch everyday instead of just packing a lunch.
Imagine if for 25 years, you took $5 to $10 everyday and put it in a savings account and never touched it. With conservative calculations, that amounts to about $50,000! And that is without calculating interest… Food for thought- right?

I’m really going to miss seeing Oprah every week day at 4pm but what I’ll miss even more is the little “Aha! Moments” such as the one I got today even without her there.

Here is my declaration: Every time I have the thought to buy lunch at work, I’ll take $7 and throw it into my savings account. What’s your declaration? Let me know at [email protected] Here’s to the next 25 years!

“Who run the world (girls)” by Beyonce is a turn off

Tuesday, May 24th, 2011

Beyonce’s new single “Who run the world (girls)” is the biggest turn off I have seen Beyonce release since destiny’s Child released “can you pay my bills”.

Let me be clear; I’m not “hating” on Beyonce. In fact, I actually like Beyonce. I find her to be a very beautiful and talented young woman. What I love about Beyonce is her humility in spite of her wealth and fame. That being said, I have to speak out against her new single “Who Run The world (Girls)”.

Let’s read between the lines here-if girls (presumably, black girls) “run the world”, where are the black boys? Let me guess; jail, drugs and the down low-right? Why can we not see that this is a time when we should be affirming and uplifting the boys and the men in the black community? Yes, black women are strong and independent but that is not a reason to now sing about running the world. Why can we not support each other (men and women) and recognize that we work best when we work together. We are different because each gender brings something to the table that the other does not.

So, my darling Beyonce, I really appreciated it when you told young women to tell brothers to “put a ring on it”. This showed that you encouraged us to ask brothers to step up to the plate and make honest women out of us rather than turn us into “hit and run” victims. I even liked it when you told us that you could see the beauty and divine magnificence in your man by singing “I can see your halo”. With this last single, “Who run the world (girls)”, I’m afraid you lost me. I don’t want to run the world with a bunch of other women. I want men and women to unite and then maybe we can talk about running the world.


Tyra Banks to become a “baby mama”?

Sunday, April 10th, 2011

This past week, many news outlets have been reporting that while on CNN’s ‘Piers Morgan Tonight’ show Tyra Banks hinted that she “may be” trying to have a baby soon. She then went on to say that there were no wedding bells ringing any time soon and when asked if marriage should come before the baby, she replied, “I don’t think it’s necessarily necessary.”

Now, generally, I have nothing but love for Tyra Banks but I’m disappointed by the way that she seems to be treating such serious issues so lightly! First of all, having a baby, if at all, is something that should be very well thought out and planned if you’re going to walk that path unmarried. Second of all, Tyra Banks should and probably does know that the statistics of unwed women having children in African American communities is alarming! These same statistics have been shown in study after study to have a correlation with a lot of the negative issues that people face in African American communities, such as the institutionalization of young black men and high pregnancy and high school dropout rates for young women.

I have said it before and I will say it again, women like Tyra Banks are role models and they have a responsibility to young women (and men) to hold themselves to a higher standard of conduct. Obviously Tyra has the right to make choices for herself that make sense for her but she has to do so in a responsible manner. Carelessly going on television and throwing words like “maybe” and “necessarily necessary” around while discussing issues as serious and sobering as marriage and having children fall way below the expectations that I had for Ms. Banks.

My appeal to Ms. Banks is simple: Be mindful of what you’re saying and doing. A lot of young women look up to you to set the standard for “model” (pun intended) behavior!

Rush Limbaugh calls Michelle Obama Fat!

Saturday, March 26th, 2011

I just recently heard that the First Lady, Michelle Obama, is writing a book so I decided to go on-line and find more information. I was appalled to find so much more information about criticism of Michelle Obama’s eating habits than anything else. A couple of weeks ago Rush Limbaugh commented that Michelle Obama was not Sports Illustrated cover worthy, implying that she was too fat because she was seen eating ribs while on vacation.

Now, I completely understand that more often than not, if a liberal (like Michelle Obama) is vocal about any issue, such as her plight to end childhood obesity, it is likely that some conservative (like Rush Limbaugh or Sarah Palin) will inevitably say something to try and discredit the whole campaign. That is politics and I understand that is the nature of the beast. What I am intolerant of is the low level of conduct that results in making personal attacks at the first lady.

This applies to all of us. We need to raise our level of conduct when speaking in public (or in private) about other people. Again, it is okay to not agree with someone’s policies, philosophies or conduct and it is also okay to express that. What is not okay is bringing up what we have observed about the person we disagree with, that has nothing to do with the issue at hand, and making an issue about that observation. Picture this: You’re debating with someone about a general issue like abortion. One of you is pro-abortion and the other is pro-choice. The right course of action is to bring up points to support your stance. The wrong action would be to suddenly yell out that your debate opponent has a very big nose or lips or ears, or whatever! Making comments about the other person’s personal appearance reduces the debate to a low level that discredits whatever stance you had taken in the debate.

So, I’m challenging everyone, including Mr. Limbaugh, to express their thoughts, opinions, observations and so on, but let’s keep it respectful. As always, I commend the First Lady, Micelle Obama for maintaining her superior level of conduct and not reducing herself to the low level that Mr. Limbaugh has done.