Posts Tagged ‘President Obama’

Nomalanga: A Love Affair with President Obama

Friday, June 1st, 2012

Ever since President Obama announced his support for same-sex “marriage”, there have been some very passionate debates and some very intense dialogue. In short, people’s emotions have been stirred and elevated.

The problem with getting emotional is, much like in love affairs, we can become irrational and cease to think clearly. Many black men and women have had a “love affair” with President Obama. He was the sweet talking, breathtakingly handsome man that we women love to swoon over. He said the right things and made so many promises. He smelled good and looked good and just when we thought he could not get any better, he sang to us. “I’m so in love with you…”

The problem now, is that a lot of black people have strong religious convictions and President Obama devastated them with the news that he was supporting same-sex “marriage”. How could he do this to “us?” Well, the truth is simple, he is just showing us who he is and many are unable to accept it.

Personally, I have chosen not to engage in the same-sex marriage debate or dialogue, simply because it is not my fight. It is not my lane. That being said, what I have observed about it is that it has caused a lot of black people to be angry at President Obama. A lot of black people are angry because they feel like he betrayed them.

If people can stop being emotional and start thinking for a minute, they will realize that this is very much like a love affair that has reached another phase. The first phase is the “honeymoon phase” where women cannot see a man for who he is but instead, see him for what they want him to be. Now we are on to the phase of disillusion.

If black people were a young woman sitting in my office asking for my advice, my advice would be very simple:
1. Look at the relationship holistically-What I mean is that if he never changed, could you still see a future with him? For Black people, the questions is: “If President Obama’s stance on same-sex marriage never changed, would that mean he loses your vote?” Also, you must look at what else he brings to the table. Do his shortcomings outweigh his capabilities or vice- versa?

2. Now that you have been disillusioned, what else do you see? – In the case of President Obama, the rumblings that I have heard for a long time have been that he says he cares about Black people but he has never really boldly stepped out and taken action that was specifically intended to benefit Black people. Again, what else do you see?

3. Accept it-Now that “he” has shown you what he is capable of, accept it. Don’t complain about it. Accept it.

4. Make a decision-Now that you see him for who he is and you have seen what he is capable of, make a decision. You don’t have to leave him and you don’t have to stay with him. You just have to be clear about what you’re getting if you stay and if you leave, understand that the next one could be the same or worse. That is the risk that you take if you leave. The third alternative is to leave and then find something better. Something better may not be immediately available or recognizable. You may have to wait a while.

In the end, as with most love affairs, some people will continue to stay in the situation but still complain. Others will stay and refuse to see the writing on the wall and some will accept him for who he is and stay with him because they see more good than bad in him. Others will leave and go “support” a man (or woman) who better meets their needs. Others will leave physically but will continue to think and talk about him until the day they die. What are you going to do?

Originally posted at Your Black Bloggers

Check out Nomalanga’s e-book:
Seven Life Changing Habits; How I Changed My Life from Mediocre to Magnificent & How You Can Too!

Nomalanga: So what if First Lady, Michelle Obama, wanted to leave?

Thursday, May 17th, 2012

I recently read an article at the online version of the Daily Mail titled “New book claims Michelle Obama prepared divorce papers to separate from Barack – leaving him so depressed friends feared he’d kill himself”. My impression of the article is that, much like the book it is referring to, it was written to tarnish the names of President Obama and First lady, Michelle Obama.

My comment, on Facebook, in reaction to the article was as follows:

“So what? In the last 7 years, I have packed a suitcase a time or two-what of it? Although they wrote this article to “air the Obamas’ dirty laundry”, this actually makes me and others respect them more. They are normal people who, in spite of everything, have sustained their marriage AND won the Presidency!”

The reason why I responded this way is that I feel that anyone who has been married a significant amount of time or is close to married couples knows that all marriages go through different phases; some easy and some not, hence the common phrase “for better or worse and through thick or think”. This phrase is often included in many vows, on a couple’s wedding day, specifically to reiterate that couples should not view a “rocky” time in marriage as a time to leave.

My own experience, having been married for over seven years, has been that when things get “rocky”, the urge to leave can become overwhelmingly strong but that does not give me or any married person, not even the first lady, a reason to leave. I believe that those difficult parts of the journey are the very parts that will teach you more about yourself, your spouse and will ultimately elevate both of you to a higher level of spiritual enlightenment.

The Obamas have admitted that in the past they did go through a rough patch but that they patched things up and grew closer together. Although the details of the Obama marriage trials, assuming there was some truth in them, were revealed with what I perceive as malicious intent, I and a lot of other people are both encouraged and inspired by the Obamas. They are modeling, among others, one great lesson: Anything worth having is worth fighting for.

Many women look at Michelle Obama and wish they could have a wonderful husband and a wonderful marriage like hers. What I am drawing from the Obamas’ experience is that that level of success is not something that happens by accident. The problem with glorifying the Obamas and their relationship has always been that it made them seem “special” but now we see that they are just normal people, much like the rest of us. What sets them apart is their courage, discipline and an attitude of Never giving up on yourself, your spouse or your marriage.

Can President Barack Obama get re-elected? Maybe if Christians pray for him…

Saturday, June 25th, 2011

Lately, many have been pondering whether or not President Barack Obama stands a chance at winning the elections once again and running “the world” for another four years and I have to admit, I have been asking myself the same question. One of the readers of the Successful Black woman blog reached out to me and suggested that maybe the Black community could stand to unify in our support for the President, especially the Christians among us.

Although I do not identify myself as a “Christian” , I am a praying woman so I understand the perspective of this particular reader even though I do not necessarily agree with her entirely. Below is an open letter from the reader, Ms. Jenkins, to the African-American Christian community and its leadership. Agree or disagree, your comments are welcome.

AN OPEN LETTER:Why Are African American Church Leaders So Silent on President Obama? …Can you at least PRAY?… By F. S. “Harvey’s Daughter” Jenkins

Why is there such a deafening silence amongst the national African-American Christian community and its leadership, regarding open prayerful support of President Barack Obama? I know that the Christian community in general has pet peeve issues they boldly and loudly
protest, such as rights for gays, abortion, etc. Yet, they seem less disturbed by homelessness, sexual and spousal abuse, the huge wealth gap, and moral indiscretions amongst their own Christian brethren and leadership. Despite any political disagreements, where is the spiritual
maturity that would allow them to agree to disagree, but still display love rather than what comes off as either aloofness, mean-spiritedness, and/or childish resentment? Why are these leaders.

African American Christian leaders—not boldly, publicly unified in prayer on behalf of our beleaguered, overwhelmed President—praying that he make wise decisions so that we may all live peaceably? After all, that is a command of the Holy Bible, which they claim is their guide.
If they are opposed to President Barack Obama’s decisions and politics, where is the spiritual maturity that would allow them to get beyond that, stand on higher ground and at least PRAY?! Do they honestly believe that “prayer changes things”? They always say they do. They
preach it on Sundays. Yet, there seems to be an overt and shameless spirit of disrespect, disregard, cowardice, hatefulness, and animosity; yes, even amongst many of the Black brethren.They are shameless, too, in their public name-calling of President Obama. I’ve heard him called the Anti-Christ, weak, a pawn, a hater of his own people, and his American citizenship is openly (and baselessly) challenged. When have you heard these accusations placed upon any other U.S.President? Along with their white Christian counterparts, the Black Christian leaders were clearly in unison and prayerfully, actively in support of former President George W. Bush. Most of the Christian networks and television shows were unequivocally bold in support of their “man of God,” George W. Black church leadership followed right along. In justification of their support, I heard them say often, “The Bible tells us to pray for our leaders. I love my President.” (The previous President they so loved is the same one whose debris President Obama must now contend with and clean up.) Sadly, I’ve not heard that en-mass vigorous, loving, active support for President Barack Obama. What could be the reasons? I have my personal thoughts as to why the difference—but only the Christian leadership
individually, and God specifically, really know the reasons.

Among my personal thoughts, however, are words like these: Fear. Among those fears are prejudicial/racial fears as well as fear of policies that would affect their bottom line. So, where is the faith that is supposed to under-gird people who profess Christianity? From the looks of it all, they are all running scared. Scared of changes, scared of what they believe to be the unknown. And, on the other hand, scared to go public in support of a man they may privately support and who needs their prayerful support—yet fearful of being ostracized or fearful of being looked upon as too liberal. Others fear that by publicly supporting this President, they will be accused of supporting him simply because he is Black. (Perhaps, if they really think about it, they may come to understand that some of their White Christian brethren are not supporting him simply because he is Black.)

So when did African-American Church leaders become too afraid to act on something of importance. Something as foundational to their faith as praying—like publicly suggesting we should PRAY for our President! There was a time in our nation’s history when, no matter about the diverse, eroding, yes even hateful voices of the masses, the Black Christian Church leadership let their voices be heard. Not only were their voices lifted in support of a rightful direction, but so were their actions. If they were in disagreement with policies that affected them, their community, or their country, they prayed as an organized unit–and action and change followed. Whether they marched, sat-in, boycotted, or protested in other ways. Always they moved as a unit. Always they moved in the spirit of the truth they said they believed in—supported by their faith. And always, they began with prayer. Segregation. The War in Vietnam. The African American clergy met the major issues of our nation and world first with unashamed prayer sessions. If I weren’t such an optimist, I would think these African-American Christian leaders want to see President Barack Obama fail overall. Just like some of the willfully ignorant, hateful, racially biased, anti-Obama detractors do. How can you, African-American Christian leaders, sit by and watch what’s happening to your President, and NOT unite together to let him know you are praying for him, for his health, for God’s wisdom in making best decisions in the midst of a presidency overrun with trouble? Never in the history of this country has any President ever been bombarded nonstop with such simultaneous serious issues to handle. Yet, while in the grips of such awesome challenges, he is continually being criticized on every front. There are many people inside and outside of the government, who, sadly, want him to fail. And they are willing to see this country fail, fall, and be destroyed rather than see President Obama have even the smallest victories, let alone succeed as a President. Why? We all know why, whether we say it publicly or not. Let me be one of the first: it’s because he is African American. He’s Black, and many in this country, including so called Christians, hate to be under the leadership of this brilliant man of color. We know this is a color-crazed country, with a history of racial prejudice–and now the world knows it. So much is said regarding the President’s faith. Christians along with others denounce him—claiming he’s not a Christian; though he says he is. Suppose someone told you that you weren’t a Christian—because you did something that did not line up with what others say is Christian. Some people may say you are not a Christian if you smoke, gossip, get divorced, drink, fornicate, lie, curse, wallow in wealth and don’t help the poor, use drugs, abuse your child or spouse, and explode with temper tantrums. How many Christians even in our pulpits do these things—consistently? Unfortunately, some people pick and choose which is the worst sin—based on what THEY decide. And the Christian community has made it known that homosexuality is the greater sin—thus serving notice to the President that his decisions regarding the gay community means he is NOT a Christian—therefore an enemy of the Christian faith. But, what does the leader of the faith—Jesus Christ—say about all of that? Would He advise you to discontinue loving and praying for someone you believe is out of order, or someone YOU decide is not consistently following the tenets of the faith? If so, you probably wouldn’t love and pray for anyone, including yourself.

With all that said, AMERICA’s success and progress, and the world’s peace, is dependent upon wise decisions. What President Barack Obama decides affects the entire world. Where are the voices of hope and support, rather than criticism and malignment? Where are the
Christian voices that relay God’s love? Where are the voices that say, “In spite of everything, we love you and we will pray—because we believe prayer changes things!” I say to you, Christians and leaders of the faith, you are missing a great opportunity. You are negligent in your duties. You are defying a biblical command—IF you are not praying
privately – and publicly in prayerful support for your leader, President Barack Obama. Be as vocal in your love as you are in your criticism. Don’t be afraid—just do the right thing!
.

Rush Limbaugh calls Michelle Obama Fat!

Saturday, March 26th, 2011

I just recently heard that the First Lady, Michelle Obama, is writing a book so I decided to go on-line and find more information. I was appalled to find so much more information about criticism of Michelle Obama’s eating habits than anything else. A couple of weeks ago Rush Limbaugh commented that Michelle Obama was not Sports Illustrated cover worthy, implying that she was too fat because she was seen eating ribs while on vacation.

Now, I completely understand that more often than not, if a liberal (like Michelle Obama) is vocal about any issue, such as her plight to end childhood obesity, it is likely that some conservative (like Rush Limbaugh or Sarah Palin) will inevitably say something to try and discredit the whole campaign. That is politics and I understand that is the nature of the beast. What I am intolerant of is the low level of conduct that results in making personal attacks at the first lady.

This applies to all of us. We need to raise our level of conduct when speaking in public (or in private) about other people. Again, it is okay to not agree with someone’s policies, philosophies or conduct and it is also okay to express that. What is not okay is bringing up what we have observed about the person we disagree with, that has nothing to do with the issue at hand, and making an issue about that observation. Picture this: You’re debating with someone about a general issue like abortion. One of you is pro-abortion and the other is pro-choice. The right course of action is to bring up points to support your stance. The wrong action would be to suddenly yell out that your debate opponent has a very big nose or lips or ears, or whatever! Making comments about the other person’s personal appearance reduces the debate to a low level that discredits whatever stance you had taken in the debate.

So, I’m challenging everyone, including Mr. Limbaugh, to express their thoughts, opinions, observations and so on, but let’s keep it respectful. As always, I commend the First Lady, Micelle Obama for maintaining her superior level of conduct and not reducing herself to the low level that Mr. Limbaugh has done.

President Barack Obama’s Biggest Error and Michelle Obama’s Greatest Victory

Thursday, March 17th, 2011

Recently while giving a lecture on Leadership, I used The President as an example of one critical error that many leaders make. This error is usually made as a result of ‘chronic people pleasing’ and while it may seem noble, it is still a very critical error.

The error is quite simply leading without a clear Definite Purpose.

Some years ago, I read the book “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill and my main take away was the understanding of the importance of Definiteness of Purpose. This is what I am suggesting is lacking in the current presidency.

Since President Obama assumed office, he has tackled many, many issues including “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, Race Relations (remember the Black Harvard Professor, Dr. Henry Gates and the Caucasian Boston police officer?), The War in Iraq (Or is it Afghanistan?), Unemployment and a devastating Economic crisis. The list goes on and on and on!

Before I go any further, let me be clear; I have a lot of respect, admiration and even Love for President Obama and my intention is not to start a campaign on why he should not be President or how lousy of a job he is doing as President. As a college instructor and a life strategist, I teach leadership and personal development courses and programs so I am able to recognize basic leadership errors and my intention is to point out one very common and critical error that many leaders (even President Obama) make.

Lacking Definiteness of Purpose is the reason why many leaders fail. Having a definite purpose is the anchor of every accomplishment by a person, company, institution or even an administration. Former President George W Bush was on Oprah sometime last year and while I do not agree with most of the policies that he enacted while he was in office, I can honestly say about him that he was clear about his purpose; War on Terror! He tackled many issues, as of course any President would, but he remained clear about his purpose; Get the Terrorists! His policies, agree with them or not, were aligned with the purpose that he was clear about from the beginning; Get the Terrorists!

So, what is President Obama’s purpose, as a President? No one really knows… Yes, he has made history by becoming the first Black President and even then, some argue that he is not “black enough’. That being said, I believe that President Obama does not have a definite purpose. After he leaves office, what will his legacy be, other than that he was Black? What is the one thing that we will remember him for?

Success is quite simply accomplishing what you set out to do. Former President George Bush had a definite purpose and he accomplished it. Again, agree or disagree with him, but he was successful. (Remember Saddam Hussein?)

Another great example of a success story is Michelle Obama. As First Lady, she has had one main goal and that is to start a process that will eliminate childhood obesity. This is her DEFINATE PURPOSE and we all know about it. When I watch children’s television shows with my babies, I often see her on the kids’ channels encouraging the children to be more active. Again, this is part of her “Let’s Move” campaign which she is using to start the process to eliminate childhood obesity. She encourages us to prepare and eat healthier meals and she has led the way by planting fresh vegetables in the White House garden. There are many other actions that she has taken and I won’t go on with the list but the point is that her purpose is clear and her actions are in alignment with her purpose as First Lady and this is her victory!

So, what’s the lesson? The lesson is simple, if you want to be successful, approach your goal with definiteness of purpose. Be deliberate about thinking thoughts, speaking words and taking actions that align with whatever that purpose is. If you do this, you will be successful; you will accomplish your goal! As for President Obama, let’s continue to pray for him as he leads the country and hopefully, before his term is over, he will leave a Legacy that we (and he) can be proud of.
Peace

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