Posts Tagged ‘personal development’

Mindful Mornings: Happy and Grateful

Wednesday, November 30th, 2011

If you find yourself feeling down, sad and sorry for yourself, you have probably shifted your focus from what you DO have to what you DON’T have. Sometimes “happiness” is just about shifting your focus. Just be mindful of what you’re focused on and you’ll be amazed at how often you have to SHIFT. If you get in the habit of shifting your focus from what you DON’T have to what you DO have, you’ll be amazed at the results! This is how you begin to live a life of GRATITUDE.

Grateful people are “happy” people and ungrateful people are unhappy people. It really is that simple. What do you choose-gratitude and happiness or complaining and unhappiness?

I choose Gratitude.

Mindful Mornings:Freedom

Sunday, November 27th, 2011

I used to think that I wanted to be “free”; free from poverty, free from hate, hurt, being controlled…Today I am grateful for the revelation that I AM free and I have always been free. I am free because my freedom comes from within. I am free because I was created to BE free. Any bondage that we feel is a creation of our minds; it is not real.

FREEDOM IS REAL. It always has been and always will be. We can either embrace it or deny it.

Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God.-A Course In Miracles

How to be a MAN by Boris Kodjoe

Tuesday, November 22nd, 2011

I just read this at Black Love and Marriage and I HAD to share it! Anyone who knows me knows that I am a firm believer in the “institution” of marriage so I’m always glad to read some good information and even happier to share it.

By Team BLAM

Happily married actor, Boris Kodjoe in response to a friends tweets about what to look for in a man, chimed in with a list of his own on how to be a man and how to love a woman. We give major props to Boris because he unashamedly represents marriage in a positive way and has no problem affirming his wife Nicole Arie Parker.

“- Embrace your imperfections

– Laugh at yourself. A woman likes a man who doesn’t take himself too serious.

– Fix or build something with your hands. It’ll show her that you are capable of taking care of a home.

– Know how to cook and clean. It’ll show her that you don’t need her but that you WANT her.

– Get your passport and travel. A man needs to see the world.

– Communicate without cursing. You don’t need to curse to make a point. Cursing shows lack of substance.

– In bed, take care of your woman first. When she’s satisfied you are DA MAN!!!

– Stay in shape. It’ll show her that you care about yourself and therefore are able to care about her.

– Take care of your responsibilities. Anything less is unacceptable. A boy is irresponsible, not a man.

– Open her her door and pull out her chair. It shows her that you honor traditional values. Trust me, she will do the same.

– Be present! Take her in with your eyes and ears. Your attention will make her feel loved and she won’t ever nag you.

– Read a f—ing book! (Sorry, violation of ‘no cursing’ rule) But seriously, ignorance is a major turn-off. Book on tape will do.

– Have an ambition. You don’t need to be rich but you need to show direction and motivation. Keep a job!

– Last one for today: Treat a woman the way you would want your daughter to be treated. Anything less is unacceptable.”

Ladies you may want to show this list to your man! Fellas if you’re reading this, take note.

A lesson in Courage from a five year old.

Sunday, November 13th, 2011

This morning I went to pick my five year old daughter up from her swimming lesson and as soon as I got to the pool, I noticed she had been crying. Her swimming instructor assured me that she was okay and let me know that she had gotten some water in her nose while she was swimming.

As we walked towards the changing rooms, I asked my daughter what had happened and she basically told me the same thing; that she had gotten water in her nose. I then asked her if she wanted to continue with the swimming lessons and she nodded her head, meaning “yes”.

As we got into the car and drove home, I started thinking that my daughter had just showed a great act of courage. I imagine that at the time when water was rushing into her mouth and nose, she was feeling a lot of fear and panic and yet, not long after that traumatic experience, she was still willing to continue with her swimming lessons.

How many of us, as adults, experience something unpleasant, (not even traumatic), and from then on decide never to try it again? The answer, of course, is that most of us, at some point in our lives, have quit because something was just too hard, uncomfortable or too scary.

When you set out to do something to improve your life, don’t let a little (or a lot of) fear get in your way. Sometimes it’s not fear; it could be discomfort or it could be that whatever it is feels too hard or it could be that some people are laughing at it or discouraging it. Take a lesson from my five year old daughter and just keep at it!

One day, you’ll look at your life and it will be so much better! Positive change takes time, but it begins with overcoming one little (or big) thing at a time.

Peace

Mindful Mornings: When things don’t work

Sunday, November 6th, 2011

Anytime YOU get involved in something, before YOU throw your hands up and say that it did or does not work, you have to first consider if YOU worked. This applies to all things from entrepreneurial ventures to relationships and marriages. The only constant in your life is YOU and what YOU believe, think, speak and do. Anyone who has knowledge of this one truth can never blame anyone or anything when things don’t work out the way he or she wanted them to.

Peace.

MINDFUL MORNINGS:Find your Greatness

Monday, October 31st, 2011

We must all have intimate knowledge of our own power and greatness. It is only in knowing our own power that we can appreciate that of another person or gender. It is through a lack of knowledge of our own power that we become threatened by the power of another person or gender. If you know your own power you’re secure and if you don’t you’re insecure. This applies to both men and women equally.

Have a POWERFUL day!

MINDFUL MORNINGS: Giving Advice

Tuesday, October 18th, 2011

Someone gave me some “advice” recently and I honestly felt like a fish being told to get out of the water. The lesson? Well, land creatures should not give sea creatures advice 🙂

Seriously, though-I think that when we give advice (which I do a lot!!!) it is wise to first consider that even  if the advice that we’re giving sounds good to us, it may not be applicable to the person we’re giving it to because they operate on a very different set of principles and philosophies.

My response to the advice was very gracious because I think the person giving the advice honestly thought they were “helping”-THEY WERE NOT! But I do appreciate that even though we may be misguided at times, having good INTENTIONS does count for something 🙂

Mindful Mornings: The mindset

Wednesday, October 12th, 2011

This morning, during my quiet time, I had the thought that I have in the last few years become stronger (mentally). I realize that it was only through going through some “tough” times that I have, over time, become stronger. I’m finally at the point where when I feel like a particular challenge is threatening to overwhelm me, I can actually change my perspective and view it as an opportunity to grow and learn a lesson. I recognize that during a “rough” or “tough” time, it is not easy to look at what is going on favorably, BUT that is precisely what I am suggesting.

Since making this one shift in my mindset, I can honestly say it is next to impossible for anyone or anything to “ruin my day” or my life. Are you ready for a shift in your mindset? Let me know-leave a comment or e-mail me at [email protected]

Video version:

Mindful Mornings: R.I.P Steve Jobs

Thursday, October 6th, 2011

Today as Steve Jobs’ loved ones mourn the end of his physical life, I am once again reminded of one truth: In the end everything that we have accumulated means nothing unless we leave behind a legacy of our purpose here on earth. What is your purpose? And are you living it every day? If not; why not?

Rest in Peace, Steve Jobs.

“Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your own heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” Steve Jobs, 1955-2011

Mindful Mornings: Do Black people complain too much?

Wednesday, October 5th, 2011

Recently, there has been a lot of talk about President Obama supposedly chastising black people for complaining too much and it got me thinking about an experience I had not too long ago.

Recently, I was standing outside of another faculty member’s office, at the college, engaged in a conversation with two colleagues who are both “African American”. The colleague whose office I was standing by was a “white” male who then stepped out of his office, locked it and then walked away. A few minutes later he comes back and then as he is unlocking his office he apologizes to me for locking his office and insists that he normally locks his office and is not locking it because I’m “black”. He goes on to tell me that he hopes that I’m not offended that he locked his office. My response was “No, not at all.”

Now, I have to admit, I found the whole experience very weird! I then began to think: Do “black” people complain so much that now we have “white” people walking on eggshells and hoping that they don’t do or say anything that may be construed as racist? Was the President right to, so called, chastise “black” people for complaining? Let me know what you think.