Posts Tagged ‘joyful living’

Mindful Mornings: Choose what you want

Wednesday, March 28th, 2012

I’m so excited about life! Not for any specific reason. I woke up about three hours ago and have been intentional about thinking good [God] things (sowing) and as the day goes(time), I am aware of how Good I feel (reaping). Imagine how good your life can be and feel if you were intentional about every thought that you allowed and every word that you spoke. Imagine if you could choose only what you want to think and what you want to say and could discard the rest! Well…you can. I’m choosing Good things-what about you?

Viola Davis Won!

Wednesday, February 29th, 2012

Viola Davis was nominated for an Oscar and she did not win, this year. Last week, before the Oscars, I watched the interview below and realized that even before she knew whether or not she won the Oscar, she had already won. I had the same experience at Mrs World.

There is a point in every woman’s life when she realizes the truth about who she is and from that moment, she is a winner.


Black women heavier and happier with their bodies than white women

Tuesday, February 28th, 2012

According to the Post-Kaiser poll, which offers the most extensive and nuanced look at the lives of black women in decades, 28 percent of black women say that being physically attractive is “very important,” compared with 11 percent of white women. White women were more likely than black women to say being attractive was “somewhat important.”

For African American women, that desire often gets defined in ways the mainstream culture doesn’t recognize.

Princeton professor Imani Perry teaches interdisciplinary classes in African American studies and notes black women have conceptions of beauty that are “not just tied to the accident of how you look as a consequence of your genes.” They include style, grooming, how you present and carry yourself, and “how you put yourself together, which I think generally speaks to the fact that we have a much broader and deeper conception of beauty.”

Gibson’s mission is to get women to embrace their size but to work toward being fit. She preaches acceptance but says white fitness professionals often seem almost resentful of her confidence.

“If I were this plump, meek person doing the same thing I do, I think they would embrace me.”

Her rule: “Do you,” Gibson says, “and be okay with me being me. I can never be mad at this thin person. I say, ‘You’re sexy, you’ve got it going on. But don’t think for one minute that I don’t feel the same about myself.’ ”

Read the story here from Washington Post.

Tyra Banks:10 Steps to Becoming the CEO of Your Own Life

Wednesday, February 22nd, 2012

Applyin’ to college? Gettin’ ready for day one on the new job? Wanna start your own company? Whether you’re just gettin’ started, or makin’ your way up the career ladder, the first step to your success is to become CEO of your own life! By that I mean, take control of everything you do – from how you present yourself to who you surround yourself with to how you interact with friends and coworkers.

Before I created my own company, I learned a few tips and tricks to get where I am now – from personal to business to social. Work may be the tippy top of the pyramid, but you gotta fit in your life foundation underneath! Follow my ten steps to finding the greatness in you (no power suit required – but sometimes it helps if you dress the part)!

Step 1: Take a Moment
At the end of each day, take a moment to reflect. What do you need to work on? Were you too shy to speak up in a meeting? Did you let someone else steal your thunder? Write down each of those missed opportunities and refer back to this list to make habit-changing goals! Reflect on that in the morning and you’ll be on your way to making sure you never skip a beat again. Remember, it’s a learning process! Don’t get down on yourself! It may take you a few tries to get it right.

Every single idea I have is written down on one of those businessy-business yellow pads. Modelland started 5 years ago on a scrap piece of paper – and to this day I STILL have it! Nothin’ like the power of a scribbly note that you jotted down as soon as the idea came to you! Who knows, it may come in handy days, months, or years later!

Step 2: Make a First Impression
I’ll admit it. Everyone gets nervous meetin’ someone for the first time, (even me!) – if it’s your first day at school, a board meeting, or meetin’ your boyfriend’s momma. Fight those jitters, ‘cause first impressions are oh-so important on the path to becoming your own CEO! Walk into that room with a smile on your face,—not one of those fakey-fake-“I’m-trying-to-impress-you” smiles, but a real genuine grin.

Follow up with the perfect handshake: face your shake-ee directly and use your right hand. You need to practice that grip— make sure you don’t squeeze till you break it! There’s a balance between overbearing and limp fish. A fierce shake and a flash of those pearly whites … you’re already showin’ part of that CEO strength!

Step 3: Dress to Impress
You are the face of your own company. When going to work or meetings you should look clean and polished. I don’t always like to be dressed up, but one tip I can give is that little touches make all the difference. Throw that blazer over a pencil skirt or pair of pants, brush that hair out of your face, and add just one bit of bling. I like to wear heels to all of my meetings ‘cause the height gives me a little extra oomph, and like I always say, if you’re tall, own those inches! Most importantly, make sure you’re comfortable. You don’t wanna be scrunching, pinching, ouching through the meeting, when your focus has to be on the business task at hand!

Step 4: Make a Plan
Now, how are you going to make your dreams a reality without a plan? No matter if they’re teeny weeny changes or big goals down the road, start small, think big! Set goals and make some serious timelines that you hold yourself to. You should set daily, weekly, monthly and yearly goals. Breakdown what you want to accomplish and how long it’s going to take you. Get off track? Regroup and re-goal. Find out where you miss-stepped and restructure that plan from there.

Don’t be scared of the bumps and bruises that come along. That big plan looks big now, but with your mini milestones you’ve planned out and big picture thinking, you’ll reach that end goal with some hard work and serious sweat.

Step 5: Build Relationships
Remember that assistant that greeted you at the door? You never know what she or he will be up to next! The key to each industry is networking. Every single person you meet in life could help you on your path to becoming a CEO.

I’m a firm believer in internships, but the key to acing that role is to remember that no job is above you – whether it’s stacking the printer with paper, makin’ coffee, or takin’ notes in that big business meeting. Make sure to make friends with your fellow interns and colleagues.

Get out there! Go to industry events, do your research, meet those important people! Use your fab and fierce handshake (paired with your smile) and make that first impression.

Step 6: Practice Humility
I’ve noticed that all the super-successful people I’ve met have one thing in common—they are amazingly humble! Be modest about your accomplishments and give credit to the people who have helped you along the way. Most importantly, be able to laugh at yourself! I may have been a supermodel, but I can always put on a silly face for the camera!

Step 7: Get Organized
From my home to my office, I am super organized! Let’s be real—if your stuff is a mess, you‘re gonna feel all over the place. Take a day or two to sort through your things—donate whatever you don’t need and find a place for the things you do. Then, use a label-maker to clearly mark where everything goes.

Step 8: Budget, Baby!
No matter how big or small your bank account is, you need to run your financial life on a budget. Start by spending a month writing down EVERYTHING you spend (down to every latte). Then determine which expenses are necessities (rent, food, etc.) and deduct from your overall income. What remains can be divided into spending money and saving money. Don’t rack up those credit card bills on unnecessary purchases – reachin’ those big goals needs serious planning on all fronts – and money is one of the biggest!

Step 9: Manage Your Time
I keep a schedule each and every day and I carry it with me everywhere I go! Whether it’s a business lunch, a night out with friends or a dentist appointment— all those appointments are right there in my datebook. Bein’ on time and accountable are two of the most important traits a CEO can have. Set up that iPhone calendar, organize your Blackberry, or go old school and buy a new planner every year!

Step 10: Stay in the Know
If you want to be successful in a certain field, you have to stay up to date with all the latest news! I still read all the fashion mags to keep up with the latest trends and news in the fashion biz and love readin’ my tech news on the daily. Set up Google Alerts for all your topics of interest. And, y’all know I love Twitter! I follow all kinds of companies and people so I don’t miss a thing.

So, are you ready to be the CEO of your own life? Keep me posted on how it goes! TYRA

Boris Kodjoe and Nicole Ari Parker: How to Have a Happy Marriage

Wednesday, February 15th, 2012

Check out this interview that Boris Kodjoe and Nicole Ari Parker did with essence.com. I love seeing marriage work and I love it even more when the happy couples share their “secret to success”. Enjoy!

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The Meaning of Whitney Houston’s Life…and Death

Sunday, February 12th, 2012

Last night when I heard about Whitney Houston’s death, the first thing that I experienced was disbelief and then slowly, as I began to process it, I settled into acceptance. Why acceptance? Well, Whitney Houston’s life has come to an end but it did not end until she changed millions of lives. It did not end until she fulfilled her purpose here on earth.

Anyone who does not think that Whitney Houston’s purpose on this earth was tied to singing has not heard her sing. At the height of her singing career, when Whitney Houston sang, some of us were so taken by the beauty and the power in her voice that we would stop breathing. She took our breath away.

I don’t know how Whitney spent the last few moments of her life here on earth, but I hope that even though she may not have lived the “perfect” life, that she recognized that she accomplished something that many die never having accomplished. She did not die with her music still inside of her. Literally.

“Don’t die with your music still inside you. Listen to your intuitive inner voice and find what passion stirs your soul. Listen to that inner voice, and don’t get to the end of your life and say, ‘What if my whole life has been wrong?” Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

The lesson that I am taking from Whitney Houston’s life and death is, as Dr. Dyer puts it, to listen to my intuitive inner voice and find what passion stirs my soul. At the end of my time here on earth, I will not wonder if my whole life was wrong. I won’t wonder because listening to that voice is listening to God’s soft whisper and no one and nothing is more powerful than that.

Rest in peace, Whitney Houston. No matter what anyone says about you, I love you. I admire you. You taught me a lesson. You literally, did not die with your music inside you and now even though your body has left this earth, you will live on through your music.
PEACE

Sex before Marriage

Wednesday, January 11th, 2012

I just read a post that really got me thinking…

“You appealed to his lower nature. You had sex with him and didn’t make marriage a requirement. You continue to have sex with him and still don’t make marriage a requirement. You decide that you’re going to have his baby, and again you still aren’t married because, again, you didn’t make it a requirement, he leaves you. But everything is “ALL HIS FAULT!”

The words above are a simple question that a lot of black woman who call themselves “baby mama” need to ask themselves. I completely understand and sympathize with the fact that “it takes two to tango” and that some men need a little nudge (like a court order) to take responsibility and contribute financially for their children’s needs. Anyone who pays attention to most of the things that I say/write, knows that I believe in personal responsibility. Before you ask or require other people to take responsibility for anything, you first have to ask yourself if you are taking responsibility

Read the post here and let me know what you think. [email protected]

Again, my friends, can I please not get an influx of angry e-mails about how judgmental I’m being! 🙂 Some truths need to be faced and we need to have dialogue so that we can begin to move into a better way of thinking and behaving. We can’t change what we don’t acknowledge-right?

HOW I WON AT MRS WORLD 2011

Saturday, December 17th, 2011

1. I became a pioneer for my country as the first ever Mrs Botswana
In the history of Botswana, no married woman has ever taken the courageous and bold step to enter the Mrs World pageant and represent the beautiful married women of Botswana. I am proud and honored to have opened this door and it is my hope and desire that we will continue in this new and unique way of recognizing the hard work, accomplishments and beauty of the married women of Botswana.

2. I achieved a lifelong dream of representing my country at an international pageant
In 1997, I entered the Miss Botswana (World) pageant and was honored to attain second place and be crowned the first princess of Miss Botswana 1997. Mpule Kwelagobe won that year and a couple of years later she was the first ever contestant from Botswana to enter the Miss Universe pageant. Mpule went on to make history as the first ever Black African woman to win the Miss Universe pageant. Mpule’s win brought all us Batswana a great deal of joy and pride and I believe she represented us exceptionally but my desire to compete at an international pageant never left. By competing in the Mrs World 2011 pageant, I finally fulfilled one of my big dreams.

3. I raised awareness and brought attention to issues that I’m passionate about.
Those that know me know that I recently designed, piloted and taught a college level course designed for young black women and other women of color. I believe that personal development is the bridge that takes us from where we are to where we were born to be and my passion and purpose is to instill this one principle in as many young women as I can. Mentorship and good roles models affect us in such positive ways and the more women of substance that stand up and lead by example, the more of a positive impact we can make in our families, our communities and society as a whole.

4. I reclaimed my health, beauty and vigor.
When I decided to enter the Mrs World pageant, I decided to be the best that I can be. I walked in looking my best and feeling my best. It was about being the most beautiful, healthy, fit and positive ME that I could be and going after this goal injected some passion back into my life and I channeled it into doing better with my eating and exercise habits!

5. I made lifetime friends.
I was loved, affirmed, validated, encouraged and understood and it did not just stop there, I met women who I instantly loved and appreciated and I poured into them in the same way that they poured into me. I laughed and cried and connected with such phenomenal women and my life is forever changed by that beautiful experience.

6. I brought “Noma” to the Mrs World pageant
One of the things that I heard most consistently before and during the pageant was “just be yourself” and that is exactly what I did. Some people loved it, some liked it and some…not so much :-). The victory here is that I accept myself as I am and that opens the door for others to do the same and that is one of the most powerful lessons that I have learned in my adult life.

7. I took my very first “solo” and much needed vacation ever since I got married and subsequently had children.
Since I got married and had children, I have never been away from all of them and my job all at the same time. What this experience has done for me is that it gave me time and space to reflect on my life and my life choices. It gave me a new sense of appreciation for my wonderful husband and my beautiful children.

8. I carried myself with grace and dignity.
The low moment in this pageant experience was the announcement of the top 14 the judges selected and sadly, there was not a single African woman or black woman or a woman of African heritage or descent amongst them-not a single one. At a point during the final night, there was talk of the all black women boycotting the pageant and just walking off. I was instrumental in negotiating with those that felt strongly enough to do it and asked them to maintain their grace and dignity even in the moment of such blatant disrespect and disregard. We all walked back on the stage and supported the winner, Mrs America; a beautiful woman with such a big heart that I felt the crown was in its rightful place.

9. I realized just how much my friends and family love, admire and support me.
During the week leading up to the pageant, I got so many messages of love, encouragement and motivation from friends and family from all around the world and I am forever grateful for that. I am so humbled by the amount of faith that “my people” had in [God] and what he could do through me.

10. I failed to get the crown but every failure takes me one step closer to my ultimate success.
At the end of the day, I did not walk home with the crown and that is okay because as I said, every failure (even though this was ultimately not a failure) leads to my ultimate success and my success is that of my husband, Ezra Moses, my children, my parents and family, my community and my country, the diamond of Africa-Botswana.

Ke a leboga bagaetsho. (translation: Thank you my brethren /my countrymen)

Mindful Mornings: Happy and Grateful

Wednesday, November 30th, 2011

If you find yourself feeling down, sad and sorry for yourself, you have probably shifted your focus from what you DO have to what you DON’T have. Sometimes “happiness” is just about shifting your focus. Just be mindful of what you’re focused on and you’ll be amazed at how often you have to SHIFT. If you get in the habit of shifting your focus from what you DON’T have to what you DO have, you’ll be amazed at the results! This is how you begin to live a life of GRATITUDE.

Grateful people are “happy” people and ungrateful people are unhappy people. It really is that simple. What do you choose-gratitude and happiness or complaining and unhappiness?

I choose Gratitude.

Mindful Mornings:Freedom

Sunday, November 27th, 2011

I used to think that I wanted to be “free”; free from poverty, free from hate, hurt, being controlled…Today I am grateful for the revelation that I AM free and I have always been free. I am free because my freedom comes from within. I am free because I was created to BE free. Any bondage that we feel is a creation of our minds; it is not real.

FREEDOM IS REAL. It always has been and always will be. We can either embrace it or deny it.

Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God.-A Course In Miracles