Posts Tagged ‘envy’

Jealousy and Envy on Facebook

Friday, April 8th, 2011

By Nomalanga Mhlauli-Moses

Recently I caught a bit of the Gayle King Show and she shared a few interesting survey results. Apparently the most annoying thing to Facebook users is people who get on Facebook and complain-no surprise there; who doesn’t want to flee from Negative Nellies and Debbie Downers? What I thought was very interesting though was that apparently Facebook users are also annoyed by people who talk too much about their “seemingly perfect lives”-really?

Let’s get really honest, today…The last time that you heard another person talking about something really, really great happening in their life, how did you feel? What about if what was going great in their lives was the exact thing that you were experiencing depressing levels of failure in?

I’ll start; I felt awful! In fact, I felt like waiting for them in dark alley and them beating that smug grin off of their face! I’ll also say this; that was a very long time ago. Nowadays, other people’s good or great news makes me giggle with glee. I tend to experience other people’s victories as if they were mine.

The reason why I can celebrate other people’s victories with them is that I am confident that I am living a life of abundance and I believe that all of us can. When you live a life of abundance, you realize that other people’s successes and victories take absolutely nothing from you. I look at other people’s success as proof of what is possible for all of us. I have had times in my life when my circumstances were so full of despair that I just couldn’t imagine that they would change and my saving grace was hearing other people talk about how their lives were great even though they had, at some point, been beaten down by their circumstances.

So, if you’re one of those people who feels annoyed when you hear about someone’s “seemingly perfect life” you may have to consider that what you’re calling annoyance may just be the green eyed twins, jealousy and envy. You know who they are; Jealousy is the one who says “my insecurity leads me to believe that I may lose you if…” and envy is the twin that says “I want what you have but I’d rather be angry at you for having it than focus on getting my own…” The cure, my friends, is simple; decide what you want out of life and go for it! Once you get on this path, there is no room for the green eyed twins. You’ll be so busy working on building your dreams that there won’t be any room for them!

Selah

Rush Limbaugh calls Michelle Obama Fat!

Saturday, March 26th, 2011

I just recently heard that the First Lady, Michelle Obama, is writing a book so I decided to go on-line and find more information. I was appalled to find so much more information about criticism of Michelle Obama’s eating habits than anything else. A couple of weeks ago Rush Limbaugh commented that Michelle Obama was not Sports Illustrated cover worthy, implying that she was too fat because she was seen eating ribs while on vacation.

Now, I completely understand that more often than not, if a liberal (like Michelle Obama) is vocal about any issue, such as her plight to end childhood obesity, it is likely that some conservative (like Rush Limbaugh or Sarah Palin) will inevitably say something to try and discredit the whole campaign. That is politics and I understand that is the nature of the beast. What I am intolerant of is the low level of conduct that results in making personal attacks at the first lady.

This applies to all of us. We need to raise our level of conduct when speaking in public (or in private) about other people. Again, it is okay to not agree with someone’s policies, philosophies or conduct and it is also okay to express that. What is not okay is bringing up what we have observed about the person we disagree with, that has nothing to do with the issue at hand, and making an issue about that observation. Picture this: You’re debating with someone about a general issue like abortion. One of you is pro-abortion and the other is pro-choice. The right course of action is to bring up points to support your stance. The wrong action would be to suddenly yell out that your debate opponent has a very big nose or lips or ears, or whatever! Making comments about the other person’s personal appearance reduces the debate to a low level that discredits whatever stance you had taken in the debate.

So, I’m challenging everyone, including Mr. Limbaugh, to express their thoughts, opinions, observations and so on, but let’s keep it respectful. As always, I commend the First Lady, Micelle Obama for maintaining her superior level of conduct and not reducing herself to the low level that Mr. Limbaugh has done.

HATERS: Be grateful for them

Thursday, March 3rd, 2011

Today, while meditating, I actually gave thanks for and expressed deep gratitude for everyone that has ever, either knowingly or unknowingly, hurt me. It may seem strange but the reason why I am grateful for this special group of people is that my experiences with them have caused me to take my growth and personal development to another level.

Anytime that you say something or do something, there are always going to be people who disagree with you, regardless of how good your intentions were. A lot of times, the people in opposition are good, well meaning people but sometimes they are ‘haters’.

So, what are ‘haters’? A ‘hater’ is a slang term used to describe a person who tries to sabotage you or your life just because the glow of your success casts a blinding light on their lack of success or accomplishment.

The key, I’ve learned, is that every action that we take must have a purpose. In knowing its purpose, we must focus on the purpose until whatever it is we set out to do is accomplished. The greater the purpose, the more haters it will attract but I have found that the less attention we give the haters, the smaller they start to look. I have also found that the more attention we give the ‘haters’, the less attention we give to our purpose and as a result, the goals we set for that purpose become less attainable, or worse still, they become entirely unattainable.

As you move through life, understand that “haters’ are going to show up. They may inject doubt, fear and a lack of confidence to whatever you are trying to accomplish. Sometimes they just mock or ridicule you and your ideas or plans. This can be useful because it causes us to be more definite about our purpose and to make plans that can withstand these tests. If your plan lacks a definiteness of purpose, it, along with you, will crumble as soon as a ‘hater’ attacks it. Again, it is more important to give your attention, focus and energy to your purpose and the goals that you set to fulfill your purpose, rather than to the ‘haters’. In addition to working on your goals, it is important to work on yourself and surround yourself with positive, like-minded people who will help you accomplish your goals and give you sound advice without ‘hating’.

As you move to higher levels of accomplishments and success, you will meet a new level of ‘haters’ but that is okay because if you’ve been diligent about focusing on your purpose and you’ve been surrounding yourself with the right people, you’ll be able to see the ‘haters’ for what they are…small people who feel threatened by your greatness. Take Wayne Dyer’s advice and “send them a silent blessing”. Be grateful for them because anytime they appear, it is a sign that you are on your way to accomplishing something great.

Peace

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