Posts Tagged ‘confidence’

Mindful Mornings: Happy and Grateful

Wednesday, November 30th, 2011

If you find yourself feeling down, sad and sorry for yourself, you have probably shifted your focus from what you DO have to what you DON’T have. Sometimes “happiness” is just about shifting your focus. Just be mindful of what you’re focused on and you’ll be amazed at how often you have to SHIFT. If you get in the habit of shifting your focus from what you DON’T have to what you DO have, you’ll be amazed at the results! This is how you begin to live a life of GRATITUDE.

Grateful people are “happy” people and ungrateful people are unhappy people. It really is that simple. What do you choose-gratitude and happiness or complaining and unhappiness?

I choose Gratitude.

Mindful Mornings: When things don’t work

Sunday, November 6th, 2011

Anytime YOU get involved in something, before YOU throw your hands up and say that it did or does not work, you have to first consider if YOU worked. This applies to all things from entrepreneurial ventures to relationships and marriages. The only constant in your life is YOU and what YOU believe, think, speak and do. Anyone who has knowledge of this one truth can never blame anyone or anything when things don’t work out the way he or she wanted them to.

Peace.

MINDFUL MORNINGS:Find your Greatness

Monday, October 31st, 2011

We must all have intimate knowledge of our own power and greatness. It is only in knowing our own power that we can appreciate that of another person or gender. It is through a lack of knowledge of our own power that we become threatened by the power of another person or gender. If you know your own power you’re secure and if you don’t you’re insecure. This applies to both men and women equally.

Have a POWERFUL day!

MINDFUL MORNINGS: Giving Advice

Tuesday, October 18th, 2011

Someone gave me some “advice” recently and I honestly felt like a fish being told to get out of the water. The lesson? Well, land creatures should not give sea creatures advice 🙂

Seriously, though-I think that when we give advice (which I do a lot!!!) it is wise to first consider that even  if the advice that we’re giving sounds good to us, it may not be applicable to the person we’re giving it to because they operate on a very different set of principles and philosophies.

My response to the advice was very gracious because I think the person giving the advice honestly thought they were “helping”-THEY WERE NOT! But I do appreciate that even though we may be misguided at times, having good INTENTIONS does count for something 🙂

Mindful Mornings: The mindset

Wednesday, October 12th, 2011

This morning, during my quiet time, I had the thought that I have in the last few years become stronger (mentally). I realize that it was only through going through some “tough” times that I have, over time, become stronger. I’m finally at the point where when I feel like a particular challenge is threatening to overwhelm me, I can actually change my perspective and view it as an opportunity to grow and learn a lesson. I recognize that during a “rough” or “tough” time, it is not easy to look at what is going on favorably, BUT that is precisely what I am suggesting.

Since making this one shift in my mindset, I can honestly say it is next to impossible for anyone or anything to “ruin my day” or my life. Are you ready for a shift in your mindset? Let me know-leave a comment or e-mail me at [email protected]

Video version:

Mindful Mornings:Be YOU

Wednesday, September 14th, 2011

I am so loving being in my 30s. The last few years have been phenomenal. Life is amazing when you learn to stand (and walk) in your own truth. I will always work at being a better ME but I will Never apologize for being ME. I suggest you do the same.

Mindful Mornings: Be Powerful; Say “I can’t”

Tuesday, September 13th, 2011

I used to think that saying “I can’t” made me powerless. I now know that it just means I’m wise enough to know that in order to do the things that I do well, I must not crowd them with other things that I do not need to do and will probably not be able to do well because there are too many of them. There is POWER in “I can’t” and I choose to exercise it when ever it is necessary to do so.

I suggest you do the same.

Lessons from Oprah and Iyanla Vanzant

Tuesday, June 14th, 2011

I just watched a re-run of the Oprah Show in which she and Iyanla Vanzant had a conversation for the first time in eleven years in front of a studio audience. My greatest take away from watching these two women is so simple and yet so life changing.

Iyanla, after leaving the Oprah Show where she had been a frequent guest expert, went on to have her own show, the Iyanla Show. The lesson that I got from what she said came when she described how badly she was treated at the Iyanla show. Rather than say that people treated her badly, she rephrased what she started to say and then said “let me tell you WHAT I ALLOWED…” Wow!

Starting today, I will never have another “pity party” talking about how someone treated me badly and not at some point give some consideration to the fact that whatever they did, no matter how bad, was not only done by them but by me as well because I ALLOWED it.

So, my friends, let this be a lesson for you as well. Think back on your life and all the people who you, to this day, believe treated you badly. Remember that one boyfriend (or girlfriend) who “did you wrong” or those people at that job who you just know belong in hell for what they did to you? Well, the lesson here is that some portion of that blame (if blaming is what you’re doing) belongs to you…because you ALLOWED them to do whatever it is that you say they did!

Iyanla concluded by saying that she believes that in every experience, even if that experience is someone treating you in an unacceptable manner, there lies a lesson that you need to learn. For me that lesson has been simple; as Dr. Phil puts it: you have to teach people how to treat you.

Racism within a race; dark vs. light skinned girls

Friday, May 27th, 2011

I just watched a sad but insightful video  about “dark skinned girls” and was amazed by how much the women who were part of the documentary were so negatively affected by their skin tone.

What stands out to me the most is that every single one of those women was in pain because she felt like her skin tone defined her as ugly. Their pain is a result of what society has collectively agreed defines beauty and that, in many black communities, means being light skinned which then as a default means that being dark skinned translates to being ugly.

I remember some years ago, one of my aunts jokingly remarked that I was not all that beautiful but appeared so because I was lighter skinned. I remember, in my childish ignorance, thinking how “lucky” I was that I was not as dark as she was. Years later, I find it almost laughable that we even had that conversation but the sad truth is that for a lot of people, in black communities, those kinds of conversation are not a thing of the past. How dark or light a black woman is is still a very relevant topic.

In recent years, I find that so much emphasis is being placed on recognizing “chocolate sisters” as beautiful which is great but it seems as though in an effort to appreciate the “chocolate” we are now suggesting that “caramel” is not as beautiful or “exotic”.

Here is the bottom line: How “chocolate” or “caramel” a woman is only as important as we collectively agree that it is. It is up to us to cultivate a  culture where we are able to look past surfaces  such as skin tone or color.

How long are we going to allow our minds to be raped by false beliefs? I say NO MORE!!!

Take a look at the video here: Dark Girls

Tyra Banks to become a “baby mama”?

Sunday, April 10th, 2011

This past week, many news outlets have been reporting that while on CNN’s ‘Piers Morgan Tonight’ show Tyra Banks hinted that she “may be” trying to have a baby soon. She then went on to say that there were no wedding bells ringing any time soon and when asked if marriage should come before the baby, she replied, “I don’t think it’s necessarily necessary.”

Now, generally, I have nothing but love for Tyra Banks but I’m disappointed by the way that she seems to be treating such serious issues so lightly! First of all, having a baby, if at all, is something that should be very well thought out and planned if you’re going to walk that path unmarried. Second of all, Tyra Banks should and probably does know that the statistics of unwed women having children in African American communities is alarming! These same statistics have been shown in study after study to have a correlation with a lot of the negative issues that people face in African American communities, such as the institutionalization of young black men and high pregnancy and high school dropout rates for young women.

I have said it before and I will say it again, women like Tyra Banks are role models and they have a responsibility to young women (and men) to hold themselves to a higher standard of conduct. Obviously Tyra has the right to make choices for herself that make sense for her but she has to do so in a responsible manner. Carelessly going on television and throwing words like “maybe” and “necessarily necessary” around while discussing issues as serious and sobering as marriage and having children fall way below the expectations that I had for Ms. Banks.

My appeal to Ms. Banks is simple: Be mindful of what you’re saying and doing. A lot of young women look up to you to set the standard for “model” (pun intended) behavior!