Mommy Wars: How Women Shame Each Other

two womenAs a first-time mom, I’ve come to this simple realization: If you are worried that you’re not a good parent, trust me, that makes you an amazing parent. It’s the parents who don’t worry that we should be worried about. So, take a step back, pat yourself on the back for being awesome, and then walk up to another parent and say, “You’re doing a great job.” No, seriously, do it. We need to start helping and stop shaming each other. You’re a parent — you understand just how hard it can be.

Here are my five biggest pet peeves when it comes to mom-shaming. They all need to stop right now!

1. Breastfeeding.

We get it — you popped out a baby naturally, had more milk than the local dairy farm and your baby latched to your boob effortlessly. Wait, that was me. Sometimes, it’s easy to forget that not everyone had it that simple. And even if moms don’t say it, they can feel really crappy about themselves watching you whip out your boob without missing a beat in the conversation during brunch. I know this because a friend of mine was having a hard time breastfeeding. She literally tried everything, so much so that she was in tears over the fact that she just couldn’t do it. A few months back, she confessed to me that it was actually painful for her to be around me while I was breastfeeding — even though I always supported her and never said anything against her bottle-feeding. Remember: You don’t know what another mother’s reason is for not breastfeeding. Maybe she can’t, maybe she doesn’t want to or maybe she just survived a double mastectomy from breast cancer and breastfeeding isn’t an option. Whatever it is, trust me when I say, a mother will do everything she can for her child, and she has Google and Facebook just like you. She knows what her options are, so just support her. Enough with the “breast is best” comments.

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