The Problem With Women Having the Choice to Work or be “traditional”

first familyBy Nomalanga Mhlauli-Moses

I recently read a blog post about a woman who said that marriage and motherhood are not accomplishments and are instead a celebration of mediocrity.

According to

“A woman named Amy Glass ruffled a lot of feathers recently in an op-ed titled “I Look Down On Young Women With Husbands And Kids And I’m Not Sorry.” She discusses the uselessness of having baby showers and wedding parties for doing things that anyone can do. “These aren’t accomplishments,” Glass wrote. “They are actually super easy tasks, literally anyone can do them. They are the most common thing, ever, in the history of the world. They are, by definition, average.””

I then read another blog post at which described a reality star, Toi Troutman-Walker, who says that she and her husband embrace traditional roles. According to

“One thing that people have been noticing and criticizing about the marriage is that Toi has taken on the role of a submissive wife and lives with more traditional marriage roles. She proudly states that Rouvaun wears the pants in the relationship. She states that she is a modern woman but is still proud to cook and clean for her man and serve him whenever he needs something.”

Women have only enjoyed having so many choices in the last two or three generations. Before, women were limited in what they could do because there was an expectation that they should just get married, have children and clean their houses. While it is good for women to now have choices and the freedom to choose what they want to do, the problem that I see with it is that they begin to judge each other’s choices and even go so far as to ridicule the women they do not agree with.

A simple google search looking for women’s roles and what they “should” be doing will bring back results ranging from extremely conservative women who will often say that their only “job” is to look after their husbands, children and their homes. On the opposite end of the spectrum, there will also be those who shun women who have the conservative role and, like Amy Glass, go so far as to encourage women to completely opt out of marriage and motherhood.

Personally, I believe in marriage and family and I also believe that women should have financial independence, as long as their pursuit of an income and career does not cause them to neglect their roles as mothers and wives. Even though this is what I believe, I completely accept that another woman may have a different view point and may make different choices. As I have said before, “there is room for everybody”. I take issue with women like Amy Glass who’s narcissism makes her think that the fact that she thinks a certain way means that is the only way to think.

Nomalanga is a Life Balance Expert. Her speaking and coaching programs help busy women who struggle to balance Marriage, Motherhood and Money-Making™. She is an avid blogger and a highly sought after instructor and speaker.

This post was originally published at

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