Nomalanga: What Black Women Can Learn from Meagan Good

I have been following a lot of news about Meagan Good and her vow to remain celibate until her and her Pastor/Producer husband are married.

To some this may seem the most far-fetched idea that they can think of because celibacy is something that society has dismissed as both outdated and unrealistic. Let’s think about it though-Think about all the negative information that is currently circulating about Black women in America and the rest of the world. Let’s start with the rate of HIV infection as well as other sexually transmitted diseases. Let’s think about the rates of teenage pregnancy and the rate of single parenthood, much of which is the result of unplanned pregnancies and pre-marital intercourse.

I am not one to jump to conclusions that I cannot support with credible sources so I will not do that but I think we need to, at the very least, consider that Meaghan Good may just be somewhat of a hero. She is going against the grain and setting an example. I don’t believe she is saying that she is “pure” and angelic and that the rest of us are “sinners”. That would be off-putting. She is however, saying that it is possible for a young woman to stand her ground and do something different and still be popular, attractive and “modern”.

The lesson that I am drawing from her example is that just because you have engaged in what some would call “sin”, there is still room to take a different course of action and change your outcomes. To some, celibacy may seem like an extreme measure to take but considering the issues that we deal with, maybe we should consider it as a very viable option. Obviously, it is possible to avoid diseases and unplanned pregnancies through taking birth control and using other forms of protection. That, however, does not take the emotional and spiritual ramifications of having multiple partners (whether concurrently or consecutively) into consideration.

My passion is the pursuit of personal development, including but not limited to my own. I instruct, mentor and advise young women, especially young women of color, more than any other population so this is an issue that I tackle very often. I’m not trying to assign judgment to anyone for their choices but I think that we are often too quick to dismiss the idea of celibacy as either “old fashioned” or unrealistic. Let’s begin to look at it as a very viable option. Yes, there are other ways to be responsible and safe, but no one can argue that no other way is as safe as celibacy so let’s not discount it.

Check out Nomalanga’s e-book:
Seven Life Changing Habits; How I Changed My Life from Mediocre to Magnificent & How You Can Too!

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3 Responses to “Nomalanga: What Black Women Can Learn from Meagan Good”

  1. modesty says:

    I absolutely agree. In the years that preceded my marriage I did a lot of dating and I never, ever slept with any of the men I went out with. My husband found that hard to believe as he equates dating with “mating,” but I have a personal philosophy that has served me well. Why would I sleep with any man unless I was prepared for him to be the father of my child? Particularly as my goal in dating was not just to satisfy my sexual urges, but to find a husband? Now that said, I don’t think it’s wrong to be sexual outside of marriage as long as a woman is crystal clear about her objectives. If you want a relationship, sleeping around will not get you that in 9 out 10 cases. If you just want to fool around you shouldn’t become embroiled in an emotional situation. Women need to understand fully the consequences of their actions. Meagan seems to know exactly what she wants and I applaud her for sticking to her principles.

  2. Apostle Brenda Marshall says:

    I applaud this young woman taking this stand in a society that seems to think that sex anyway you want to do it is a okay!!!! This woman is walking out what she is reading in her Bible. She is being a light in a very dark world. I am really amazed by the way black women are being irresponsible in the arena of taking care of themselves, allowing pregnancies with no good men and the like, and they don’t allow themselves to even get to know these guys before they lay down with them. This is a very smart woman and I hope that all women, not just the young ones, take note of this lady’s decision. IT IS POSSIBLE TO DO THIS CELIBACY THING BY LINING UP THE PRIORITIES IN ONE’S LIFE!!

  3. Bob says:

    Nothing teaches as thoroughly as example. And who can tell anyone that what they are doing cannot be done? Thanks Ms. Good for showing us what discipline looks like. BTW The best difinition of discipline I have to date is “delayed gratification.”

    The me that says to myself, “its not like it isn’t ever going to happen – it just isn’t going to happen today” is an ever increasingly more powerful me.

    Congrats to you and your mate Ms. Good.

    Recommended read: “Love For A Lifetime,” building a marriage that goes the distance.

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