Nomalanga: What society thinks about Overweight Women

I just read an article by a, self proclaimed, overweight feminist who is considering losing weight to expand her dating options. Of course, this is a rather delicate topic and she even admits that, being a feminist, it may even seem hypocritical, on her part. After all, isn’t one of the basic “rules” of feminism that women should not be judged on the basis of their physical appearance? I don’t know; I’m not a feminist…

Reading her article got me thinking…Not too long ago, I posted a somewhat humorous Facebook post talking about how I noticed that after shedding over 40 pounds from my heaviest weight, I started to notice more “heads turning”. What was funny was that I actually thought that the reason I had stopped “turning heads”, was that I was no longer a twenty something college girl. I thought that now that I was a wife, mother and most importantly, a married woman, well into my thirties, I had just moved into a different stage in my life where I no longer “turned heads”. I honestly thought that only “young girls” drew attention when they walked by and since I had stopped considering myself as such, it seemed normal that nobody was taking a second look.

Imagine my surprise when I started to notice that after losing a significant amount of weight, I was “turning heads” again, much like in my younger years. So, it turns out that our society is more forgiving of women aging than it is of them gaining weight- at least that is what my experience has taught me.

So I decided to put on my survey hat and began asking random men, in my circle of friends and relatives, what their preference was-cute and chubby or cute and “older”? Yes, you guessed it; they ALL said they preferred cute and “older”.

The one consolation that I find in this issue is that I feel I can control my weight. Aging, even though it will probably be graceful, is not something that I or anyone can control. Being “old” is not a choice but being “chubby” is. I know some might argue that being overweight is a “condition” and while I’m sympathetic to that, I still maintain that for the majority of us, it is not a “condition”, but instead a matter of discipline and self control.

So there you have it, ladies, before you write yourself off as “unattractive”, you may want to consider that it might just be that you need to say good-bye to some of those extra pounds that you have gained over the years. Speaking as someone who has shed a significant amount of weight, I can say that not only will you look better, more importantly, you’ll FEEL better!

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2 Responses to “Nomalanga: What society thinks about Overweight Women”

  1. James says:

    This is an article that is long overdue from a woman’s perspective. Black women have been brainwashed into believing that it’s okay to be overweight and in some cases even obese. It’s really disgusting that 80% of Black women over the age of 30 are either overweight or obese. Although there are a large percentage of Black men who will date an overweight women, it’s very rare that he will marry one. When Black women complain about not being able to find a good man, the fact that she’s overweight and unattractive should be at the top of the list.

  2. Catherine Grace Cleveland says:

    I agree with feeling better because of losing excess weight. I get up in the morning and feel good. No need of caffeine needed! I’m turning heads and I’m 46!
    Author of the book Sick of Being Fat

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